nnl: So if I look at enough adorable animated gifs and pictures and videos of Maru will that make me healthy again? The aura of cute will surround me and my body will use that power to extricate this sinus infection or w/e that is currently kicking my ass. That’s how science works right?
I just got excited over the fact that I could buy...
^This came up as something I have typed previously. This is a great example of why I’m so excessively popular. And all the boys are lining up to date me. I’ve actually had to build a queue path right outside my door. Don’t worry I made it all multi-colored and cool like from the old-school Roller Coaster Tycoon days. Note the lame all-blue, default queue? Not in front of...
Q: What does a nosy pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeño business
I always thought I would be an engineer or some...
Last second senior year I decided to switch to a major that specialized in the art side of making video games. But, frankly I don’t think I’m good enough with artsy stuff nor have I learned enough thus far in it, which worries me about job prospects… On a whim I was about to take Russian last year, but I had conflicts with major classes so I decided to go with Japanese instead....
A dramatic Shakespearean response to every...
When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
When I'm doing the laundry: OUT, damned spot!
How I memorize things (Japanese job vocab edition)
(yatoo = to hire) “Yah Toe, I need to hire a foot doctor!” (shitsugyoo = unemployment) “Shits, you go… away!” so they were fired… and therefore unemployed. (oobosuru = to apply for a job) “I gave up my 5843954th chair in the flute section and decided to apply for the sole Oboe one!” (ooboyooshi = application form) “Why did Yoshi just hand me...
Isn’t it odd how much fatter a book gets when you’ve read it several times?” Mo...– Cornelia Funke, Inkspell (via libraryland)
Quote responses I would like to use, but never...
Other person: You’re late. Me: I am never late, nor early. I arrive precisely when I mean to. (Gandalf paraphrase) Other person: You’re screwing everything up! Me: Noooo! I’m only screwing the wheeeeel! (Cheese from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends) Other person: You’re as repulsive as a monkey in a négligée. Me: I look that much like your fiancée? (The Curse of...